*sad face*

We had to put Bandit (my ferret) to sleep yesterday because he was so sick and in so much pain that we couldn't stand the thought of keeping him in that state until the next day. I was in the middle of cleaning out my bunny's cage when I heard this God-aweful screeching/screaming noise, and it was coming from his cage. I rushed over to it and he was lying on the floor of his cage and he was twitching and screaming. I was afraid to pick him up because I didn't want to hurt him. However, I decided to risk it and I grabbed him and wrapped him up in his "blanket" and took him downstairs.

When I showed him to Mom, she immediately went for the phone book and started looking for a vet that might be open (it took a while to get ahold of someone since it was on a Sunday and most of them are closed). I called Jake to let him know what was going on and asked if he would be able to come over. When I got off the phone with him, Mom told me that a vet at the Amanda Animal Hospital in Spencerville was going to go into the office and meet with us. It was going to cost $100 for the emergency vet visit, but he said that he wouldn't charge us for the euthanasia.

So, once Jake got to my house, we all left and headed out to Spencerville. Because my finger had gotten in the way while he was having a seizure, and his tooth broke thru my skin, the vet said that he was required to send him in to have him tested for rabies (even tho he highly doubted that Bandit had rabies). Mom was discussing it with him and they just kept talking. I was basically like "Just shut up and let him give Bandit the injection!" I couldn't stand there and watch him suffer like that when relief was at hand.

Once he gave him the injection, it didn't take very long for it to kick in (especially since he injected it directly into Bandit's heart - which is what they do with small animals since their veins are so small). He left us in the room with him and Mom and I stayed in there and petted him for a little while. His eyes hadn't closed when he passed on, so I covered up his face with the towel that he was wrapped in and we headed out to the lobby to get the bill taken care of.

This was such a traumatic experience for me because Bandit has been a part of our family for the last 6-7 years and in that time, he has stolen my heart completely. Jake made the comment that I should "stop giving my whole heart to these animals," to which I replied that I couldn't help it. Any animal that comes in our home automatically owns me body and soul, and no matter what I do, I can't stop that, and it definately doesn't make losing them any easier.

Part of me wishes that I could have been able to bring Bandit's body home and bury it under the apple tree next to Missy, but the other part of me realizes that it is just a body and that Bandit isn't in there anymore. So, I don't know if having the burial ceremony would have helped me any. I felt so horrible yesterday and I thought I was okay today, but as I write this blog, tears are coming to my eyes and threatening to spill out onto my keyboard. Yesterday, I was eating some chips and salsa in my room while watching part of "Two Weeks Notice" on TV, and when I went to close up the bag of chips, I went to grab a chip or two out of the bag and put it in his food bowl for him. Just as I was about to reach in the bag, I remembered that he wasn't in there. I have a feeling that I'm going to be doing things like this a lot over the next week or so. Every time I see a gummy bear, I'm going to think about him.