Still poor...

I bought some groceries and a new shirt and tank top to wear to the elementary school today and now I'm basically broke again. I have money for gas for next week, but not much more than that. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage saving money for my vacation and also buy new clothes for this summer along with all of the birthday, graduation, and Mother's/Father's Day gifts that are coming up so soon. I'll manage somehow, but it'll take some planning on my part.

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Does anyone else feel completely overwhelmed this quarter/semester? I just feel like no matter how much work I do over the weekend, Monday classes come to screw everything up again. I've just stopped trying to get caught up.

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So, I haven't been sticking to my 3 weekly visits to the Y lately. It's just been so hard to get myself to get ready and go there. But my mom and I started taking walks around the neighborhood either on Friday or Saturday, and we've taken a walk every day since then, so far, so I think that'll help. It's something in the way of exercise, at least.

My Graduation Present To Me

I plan on going down to Florida for 7-10 days this summer because I have been promising myself and my friends down there that I would go for the past, what, 5-6 summers? So, this summer, I am going through with my plans, even if I have to declare bankruptcy afterwards!

I have invited Jake to go along, and if he can go, we'll probably be driving down there in my car (because it gets pretty good gas milage). If he can't go, I will be paying for a plane ticket and renting a car (which will definitely NOT be cheap!).

There are so many things that a person has to do in order to prepare for a vacation. Since I haven't been on one in so long, I had forgotten about most of it. Not only will I need to save every extra cent that I have from my paychecks between now and then, but I will also have to spend what little money I have left over on a new summer wardrobe (which includes a new swimsuit).

I'm at the point where I'm sure that I'll have the money to get down there and back, but I don't know how I'll be able to eat and drink once I'm there. Luckily, I'll be graduating from college in June, so I'm sure I'll get some money from a few people, and that will help me, even if it's only an extra $50, that will be money that I can use to buy food. :)

Also, in preparation for my trip down there, I have started going to the Y and working out. Well, I've only managed it once so far, but I plan on going at least 3 times a week, and I might have someone that can go on walks with me when it's nice out, so that will help a lot, too. I plan on being a "beach bum" for the majority of the time that I'm there, so I would like to get in shape, or at least head in that direction, so that I can feel more comfortable in a swimsuit.

Speaking of the Y, the backs of my thighs are pretty sore today! I worked on this little rowing-type machine yesterday. It was really nice and made for an easy workout, but I only did 5 minutes on it because I had already been working out for about 20-25 minutes and I didn't want to overdo anything. But, I think it might be my new favorite workout machine and I'll definitely be spending more time on it the next time I go!

Realization

I was just reading through my list of things that I would like to accomplish before I'm 30 and I realized that I won't be able to do everything in the next 8-ish years, but I would still like to do most of it. Maybe I should change the title to "30 things I'd like to do before I get really old" or something like that? I don't know.

Another thing that I have been thinking about lately is "What is 'love'?" Jake and I have been together for over 3 years now and I know that I love him, but I don't know what that love means. I don't know if it's the love that can make a man and a woman stay together their whole lives or if it's more of a friendship love. Since I have had very limited experience with relationships in the past (since Jake is my first 'real' boyfriend), I really don't even have anything that isn't the romantic type of love to go from.

It's really hard to have a question that nobody is able to help you with. I mean, I can ask other people in my life how they knew they'd found the person that they would spend the rest of their lives with, but that really won't help me much since I know that I probably won't be having those feelings. Everyone's situation is different and I just wish that someone could give me a straight-up answer about what "romantic love" really means.

Normally I don't really share things like this with the general public, but mostly I'm doing this in order to get some opinions/advice. I'm just really confused right now, not only with my relationship, but with school and graduation and the lack of job prospects. So, if anyone has any comments on anything like this, please share. :)

Home early

I got home around 11:45 am today. It feels so weird to be home before 6:00 pm. I was hoping to get some things done today, but it's too nice outside and I just want to be a bum for a little while. The beginning of the week was overwhelming and stressful and now that I have some time to breathe, I'd like to do just that.

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I was just thinking a little while ago that it might be fun to visit a zoo! I haven't been to one since I was about 10 and, even though I'm an adult, I think it would be awesome. Who says you have to be 5 to enjoy the animals?!

Overwhelmed

It's only the beginning of week 2 and I'm already behind. At least, that's what it feels like. This is my last quarter before graduation and it's so hard to make myself care about anything. I want to do well in my classes, but part of me just really doesn't give a damn because I'm so close. But, another part of me realizes that I NEED to pass these classes in order to graduate. So, that's probably the only thing keeping me going.

I developed a cold yesterday and I've felt sick and achy most of the day today. I'm hoping that I can kick whatever this is before tomorrow (when I'll be in a 1st grade classroom all day), but I seriously doubt I could be that lucky.

Catching up

I had a friend from Florida add me to his Myspace a few weeks ago and we've been sending messages back and forth, but we haven't really had the opportunity to talk much. Today, I asked him for his screen name and got him added to my buddies list and we've been chatting for a few hours now. We're just catching up and talking about our lives. It's so nice to be able to share some memories with him, things that only he and I remember. It's nice to be able to talk with him about our shared childhood.

I had forgotten how close we were until today. I miss him so much and I'm so glad that we can now talk to each other again. It's going to take more than a few hours of one day to catch up on the past 6+ years, but at least we've got a start. This is awesome!