Nothing to worry about

Well, the meeting with my biological father went pretty well. It wasn't as awkward as I had expected, and we did end up talking a lot. Not necessarily about the things I had wanted to ask him/talk about, but I did ask him one of my questions, and that seemed like enough for our first visit. He has expressed an interest in meeting again (he referred to our meeting as "the first step") and he wants me to meet his family (or at least his Mom...he says that we would get along well).

I'm excited to see where all of this leads. I mean, I have a whole other family that I know nothing about, and it will be interesting to meet them and see if I am anything like them, even though I have never met them. I've been wanting to live my life more, and maybe this is a big step in the right direction, as step that I need to take to help me do just that?

Speaking of living my life..I may get to venture somewhere exciting for Spring Break this year...I'm not sure where yet, but the options that I have so far are good ones. :)

Nervous

So, I'm meeting with my "biological father" tomorrow evening, and I'm a little nervous because I'm not sure what to say to him. I wonder how I'm going to be able to find him in the restaurant...hopefully it won't be too hard, but I've never met him before and I have no idea what he looks like, really. Thankfully Jake is coming along with me, so I won't be doing this alone, and that's comforting...but it'll still be awkward.

More than anything, I just want to know why he chose now to decide to meet me. I'm sure there have been plenty of opportunities before now (I mean, I've been over 18 for 2 years now), but for some reason he waited until this year, this summer, and I really would like to know why. Waiting until now isn't, in my opinion, going to make this any easier or harder on either of us, but it would be nice to know his reasons for his decision.

Because I've never known him, it hasn't really been hard on me not having him in my life. And I've got a great Dad, so it's not like I've been missing a "father figure" or anything. This man is responsible for half of my genetic code and I don't even know what he looks like. I can guess that he looks a little like me, but that doesn't really help at all. I'm going to be meeting with a complete stranger who happens to be biologically related to me...how do I address him?

Somewhere new...

One of my friends is in France right now, and my brother gets to visit New York with some friends today, and my other brother took a field trip to Chicago last school year...and it makes me wonder when I will get to go somewhere that's different from here? I've been in Ohio for about 6 years now, and I'm really close to New York and Washington D.C., but I've never been to either. I could also visit Canada (if I had a passport), but I didn't go when I had the chance. I've just never really been anywhere exciting outside of Ohio (except Brushwood, which was in New York). just want to know when I will get out of Ohio and go somewhere exciting? When will it be my turn to take a trip somewhere I've never been before? I hope it's soon!

Thinking about where I haven't been also makes me think of things I haven't done. I have been to a zoo, but I was too young to really remember anything, so I would like to do that. I've never been horseback riding (and I really want to!), or takena road trip with just friends (no parents). My car isn't exactly in the best traveling condition, but I'm hoping that I can rent a car next summer and take a trip down to Florida to visit friends, and that would mark "road trip" off of my "To Do" list.

There are lots of things I want to do that I've just never done. Now that I'm older, I hope that I can start "marking things off of my list," so-to-speak, and hopefully I will have the time and the money to do so. I want to live my life at least a little before I have to settle down and do the "family thing"...not that I -have- to do it, but I would like to, and I'm sure that having a family makes vacations harder to schedule...and I really want to do some fun/amazing things before I start that chapter of my life!

Presents

Well, both yesterday and today, I had birthday dinners cooked for me. My parents made me dinner yesterday, and Jake's Mom made me dinner today. The food was really good (both days) and I ate until I felt like I was going to puke...but I just couldn't stop! Jake's Mom also gave me some money for my birthday, which I thought was way too much (considering she'd spent all day making dinner and that was present enough for me), so I'm going to have to do something nice for her (or else I'll just wait until Christmas and get her something AMAZING! ;p)

Speaking of presents. I didn't really get a whole lot this year...not that I wanted any, but it was just weird. I mean, I only got 2 cards...I would have thought that I would have gotten more than that. Now that I'm older, my birthday doesn't seem to be about presents or money, just about spending time with the people I love, but it's always nice to get a card in the mail...it shows that people are thinking about you. Oh well...it's not like I have anywhere to keep the cards, anyways. ;p

Yay!

Well, today is my birthday. I'm not technically 20-years-old until later this evening, but oh well. I can't believe that I'm 20! It seems like just yesterday that I was in middle school and wishing that I was this age so that I could do whatever I wanted to...which doesn't happen when you actually do reach this age, because you still have to follow rules and everything...bastards. ;p I don't feel any different, except that I'm excited about today being "my day," but I doubt that it's going to be anything special.

Mom and Dad are fixing me a birthday dinner. They're going to make rotisserie chicken and cook up some fresh green beans (mmm!), and probably some other stuff, but Mom couldn't remember what it was, so she couldn't tell me when she was explaining the meal to me. But, it sounds like it'll be really good. :)

I don't have any big plans this year. I may have a small get-together over the weekend, but it's not really going to be a party...just one more excuse to get everyone together to hang out. Maybe we'll watch movies and have popcorn, or play D&D...I don't know, but I'm sure we'll have fun.

Book 7

I went and picked up Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at the 12:01 A.M. release time, and I thought that I was going to stay up all night and read the whole thing, but that didn't happen. For one thing, I couldn't really find a quiet place to read because my brothers were fighting or trying to talk to me. Also, my little 3-year-old cousin was over and he was sleeping in my room, so I felt bad for having the lights on, plus I knew that I would need some sleep if I was going to be expected to deal with him the next day.

So, I read when I could, but I'm still not very far in the book (Chapter 14). I really want to read it, but I always seem to be tired lately, and reading does nothing to help that. I stayed up until almost 2:30 (after getting home around 1:15-1:30) reading, and then decided that it would probably be a good idea to get some sleep because I had to be up at 7:40 this morning. After I got back from dropping my brother off (around 8), I read another chapter, but then decided that I needed some more sleep. So, I haven't really gotten very far because I do value sleep. Hopefully I can finish it today, though. :)

Completely unexpected...

Well, last night I came home from Jake's house, after bringing Bandit over to meet Jake's mom (she really wanted to see him) and I go into my Mom's office, but she's on the phone, so I pet one of the cats and then start to leave when she starts talking to Dad. But she calls me back and says that she has something that I really need to see, and she hands me a letter. It's from my "father" (aka: the man genetically responsible for helping make me) and tells me to read it. It was addressed to her, but in the letter, he tells her that he would like to meet with me if I'm at all interested in meeting with him.
I really wasn't sure how to feel after reading that letter. I mean, I've never met the man...I have known about him since I was like 12, and when we moved back up here, I knew what city he lives in and where he works (kinda) and that I could possibly run into him one day down at the neighbors' house (he's still friends with the guy that introduced him to Mom), but I never really thought about going to find him.
I have decided to meet with him, but I want Jake to come with me because I don't want to do it alone, and I'm sure my Mom would rather not go with me, but she will if I need her to. But, the whole time I'm reading the letter, and talking with my Mom and Dad about it, all I can wonder is "why now?" Why did he wait until now to contact (or attempt to contact) me? I mean, I understand that he didn't want to be involved in my life when I was younger (possibly to keep things simple for me), but I turned 18 two years ago...why didn't he try to meet with me then? I just don't understand why he picked now.
But, I am an adult, and Mom and Dad left the decision up to me, and I have decided that I would like to meet him, even though it will be extremely awkward, for both of us, I'm sure. But I have more family through him, and it would probably be a good idea to meet them. Especially since I'm his father's only grandchild (from what Mom says).
Wish me luck!

Why?

I just can't seem to drag myself out of bed before noon anymore (technically I was out of bed like 5 minutes before noon today, but still). I don't need to be sleeping that long, but I just can't get used to waking up a decent hour. When I sleep that long, it feels like I've just wasted half of my day, and since we're about half way through the summer, wasting days is the last thing that I want to do!

I just feel like I haven't accomplished anything this summer. I don't have a job, so I don't have a whole lot of money, and therefore can't afford to do some things. I won't be going to Brushwood this weekend because I can't afford it...but, there's always next year. I want to visit the Renaissance Festival before I go back to school, but I don't know if I'll have the money then or not. There are so many things I would -like- to do, but I just can't justify spending the money on them...it sucks!

If I wouldn't have had to drop almost $1000 on fixing my AC at the beginning of the summer, I don't think I would be having this issue, but unfortunately that needed to be done (so that I don't roast in my car on trips that last longer than 20 minutes) and now I don't have money...stupid cars!

It would be really cool to take a vacation and go somewhere different, if only for a night, but that also requires money, so I would probably have to try and get a group of people together to try and divide up the cost a little. But everyone has different schedules. Brittany and Tabby usually work the same shift, but they had different days off, and Katy works during the day and doesn't get home until the other 2 are at work. And I never know when Jake has to work. It's just really hard to get everyone together, and it's even worse when they all have to work on the weekend.

But, we still have about 2 months before classes start, so hopefully those will be packed with some fun summer-y stuff (preferably stuff that isn't expensive ;p), and that way I won't feel like I've wasted my entire vacation.

I don't know if this is true, but I like it anyways

This is an e-mail my Mom sent me. I have no problem with atheists, in fact, I have a few friends and relatives who are atheist, but I just thought that this was really witty and that it would be great if it were actually true.

Have you heard about this court case?

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared "Case Dismissed."

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, "Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah......yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said "Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists' holiday!"

The lawyer pompously said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?"

The judge said, "Well it comes every year on exactly the same date.....April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1, and Psalm 53 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!"

Pray that some day our courts will be full of these kinds of judges.....maybe then , we can put God back where He belongs.........in everything we do.....

Way to go, Judge!

Yay Harry Potter!!!

So, I went and saw the movie twice yesterday (since the first show technically started after midnight). I really like it as a movie, but it was disappointing when compared to the book. They cut out -a lot- and they changed some things. Overall, I liked the special effects...the fight scenes were really good (in my opinion), but they could have put a little more of the book's plot in there. It seemed like some of it didn't really make any sense because they didn't explain it very well. I know that it's a big book and I expected some things to be cut out, but I don't understand why they would change things. Oh well.

I recommend it to any of the Harry Potter fans...just don't go in expecting it to be exactly like the book, and I don't think you'll be disappointed. :)

Where did it go?

I went to the bank today to pull out some money for gas and to have some spending money for lunch tomorrow...and the ATM was gone. In it's place was a bunch of gravel, like they had torn up the cement that was under the machine. So, that's great. There was a notice on the ATM for the past week or so telling everyone that it would be out of commision on the 9th, which was yesterday. I figured that I would be able to use it today, since it's no longer the 9th, and I was definately denied. Thankfully I was actually there while the bank was open and I just went through the drive-thru, but it would have been so much easier if I could just use the ATM...I don't have to deal with the bank people and have to wait 10 minutes for them to get around to processing my transaction when I use the machine.

I was supposed to run some newspapers over to the Humaine Society today, but I forgot to grab them when I headed out the door and they're closed by now, so I guess I'll have to leave a few minutes earlier tomorrow when I head out to pick up Boo and drop those off. Hopefully they'll be open around 9:30...otherwise I'll have to make another trip over there either later in the day or on Thursday.

In other news. I may be going down to visit Sarah in her new apartment in a few weeks. :) That should be lots of fun. I'm going to have to find someone to drag along with me because my Mom doesn't want me driving down there alone, so maybe Brittany can rearrange her work schedule and she can ride down with me. :) I wonder if I should bring her a house-warming gift? I guess it'll depend on if I have the time & the money to pick one up before I go to visit. It'll be like having a little vacation, and I'm so ready for one of those!

Monday

Well, it's Monday and I really haven't done anything all day. I set my alarm to wake up at 7:30 A.M. so that I could have my brother at the high school by 8 A.M. for his football weight training (or whatever they're doing this week). I woke up with the alarm, even though I was less than pleased to hear it go off, and I got up and threw a shirt on over my tank top and headed downstairs. I got him dropped off and was home by 8 and I decided that I wanted to go back to bed for a couple more hours. I should have set my alarm for 11 or so, which is when I was planning on getting up. Instead, I slept until 1...and I don't know why because I wasn't even that tired.

So, I got out of bed and jumped in the shower because I was supposed to be over to Jake's house by 2-ish to visit with him before he went in to work (at 6). I got over there around 2:05 and we sat around and played Pac Man and such on his sister's GameCube...until the power went out, anyways. It still hadn't turned back on by the time 4:30 rolled around, so we headed over to my house so that he could wash his hair before he left (because his parents didn't want him taking a shower at home and using up all of the water).

He left for work and I got on the computer for a while. Around 6 or so I decided to start doing some cleaning for Mom. I swept and mopped the living and dining rooms and then I remembered that I had to run to the store for her. So, I went and did that, and also ran over to the post office to grab a book of stamps because the machine at Wal-Mart was only taking coins (and I don't have $8.20 in change). In a little while I have to give the dog a bath, but that won't take long.

I'm going to see the new Harry Potter movie tomorrow night (at the 11:59 showing) and I'm so excited!!! I hope that it's really good. I'm also going to see it on Wednesday because Jake and I are taking his mom to see it, so I hope that it's good. :D

Wedding

Well, I went to my cousin, Amy's, wedding today. Everything was beatiful and she looked gorgeous. The actual ceremony didn't take very long, but I guess I'm just used to Catholic weddings. I think everyone had fun at the reception and they were actually playing some good music once the wedding party showed up. I didn't catch the bouquet, but that's okay because I figure that I've still got a couple of years before I'm ready to "tie the knot."

I ended up leaving around 5:45 and I headed over to Jake's house and we both ended up taking a nap. He worked last night and I had problems going to sleep because I was worrying about my bracelet, which I ended up finding around 3 A.M. It was in between my mattress and my bedframe...I probably should have looked there first. When I found it, it -was- broken, but it's nothing that a jeweler can't fix. I'm still going to tell Jake to stop buying me nice jewelry because I'm sometimes too careless to take care of it. But I'm just thankful that I didn't lose it at the fairgrounds.

Tonight I'm going to see Kaitlyn (Katy's cousin...aka: Auntie Boo) at her dad's house. They're having like a graduation party for Boo/4th of July celebration, so there's going to be fireworks. I'm not sure how long I can stay, but I would really like to see her before she goes, and this may be the only opportunity I have to do so. But I'm going to try to get up for church in the morning, so I'm not planning on staying out too late (though it may happen ;p). I really do need to get some sleep tonight since I didn't get much last night, but I also want to spend a decent amount of time over there because I may not get to see her again. Hopefully I don't start getting tired an hour after I get there.

I feel horrible...

I just realized a little bit ago that I've lost the bracelet that Jake gave me for Christmas. I had it on for the 4th and I don't remember taking it off, which means that it probably fell off. I was over at Jake's house and at my house and we went to the festival, so it could be anywhere...and I don't think I have much of a chance of finding it, but I really hope that I do...I love that bracelet and I could kick myself for being that careless and not noticing sooner that I don't have it!

I should just tell Jake not to buy me any more jewelry because I can't take care of it. First, the ring that he bought me for our 1-year anniversary keeps losing it's gem (because it only has 2 prongs keeping it in-actually, they're pretty much failing at that) and they won't let us trade it until we've had it fixed 4 times. Well, when I take it to get it fixed this time, that will only technically be 2 times because they didn't record the 1st one. So, I keep knocking the ruby out of that, and then I turn around and lose the bracelet...I just can't have nice things and I really need to stop having them.

The 4th

Well, it's been kinda rainy today, and I'm hoping that it's not supposed to continue tonight so that we don't get screwed out of having fireworks. I plan on heading down the the 4th of July Festival around 9-ish and getting my fill of fair food before watching the fireworks. I hope that they have a nice show tonight...it would suck to spend all of that money on fair food and not have a good show afterwards.

So, I went over to Jake's house and we ate food around 4-ish and I'm still totally stuffed. I came home and had a piece of my aunt's pineapple dump cake (I know the name sounds unpleasant, but the cake is amazing!) and I probably shouldn't have had even that much. And plus, she made me my own special cake that I can have all to myself. :)

With today being the 4th of July, that means that I have only 20 days before my 20th birthday. I'm planning on having a party the weekend after my birthday (as long as it's okay with my parents). I'm sure it won't be anything big, but it'll be nice to (hopefully) get everyone together again. I'm really not sure what we'll do, but we always seem to figure something out. Maybe it'll be a good night to burn stuff at the Rock Garden. :D

Lunch

Well, today I went along with Brittany and Tabby to have lunch with Katy in Van Wert. We went to the "I Don't Care Grille." The food was okay, but the sauce/breading on their chicken (wings/tenders) tasted odd. If I go there agian, I'll have to try something besides appetizers. ;p But hey, at least now I can say that I've been there. :)

Sometime Friday, I'm supposed to go shopping with my Mom to pick out something to wear to my cousin's wedding on Saturday (not the cousin who's wedding I'm going to be in, but a different cousin-I have lots of them!). I'm thinking that I may look for a nice dress, or try to find a nice skirt/shirt combo, but we'll just have to see what they have. We'll probably be going to JCPenney, since my Dad has a Penney's credit card. And I hope that they have something that I like that isn't going to cost an arm and a leg. I mean, sure I'm not going to be paying for it, but I don't want to spend all of my parents money on something that I'm probably only going to wear a couple of times. :)

On a random side note..."Runts" now have 2 new flavors: Pineapple and Mango. The mango is really good and it tastes almost exactly like the fruit, but the pineapple doesn't have as much flavor as it should. So, I really like the mango, but I'm not exactly crazy about the pineapple. But, they got ride of the lime and the cherry "Runts," at least in the box that I'm eating, and that's kinda disappointing because I'm used to them being there...and now their not. Oh well. *shrugs*

My Sunday

Well, I had intended to attend church with Jake this morning...we were even going to have breakfast at Bob Evan's before going. I woke up at 7:30 A.M. (I figured that would give me enough time to get ready and not have to rush around before I got picked up for breakfast) and I felt like crap. So, I called Jake and told him that I wasn't feeling well and that I was going to go back to sleep until it was time to wake up and get ready for church, and that I would go if I was feeling better by then. Well, when 9:15 A.M. rolled around, I wasn't feeling any better. And since I had only gotten about 4-5 hours of sleep the night before, I figured it would be okay to stay home and get some much needed sleep...so I didn't actually wake up until about noon. I must have -really- needed the sleep.

Oh yeah. On Saturday, I got up around 8 A.M. and got dressed and then proceeded over to my aunt's house to check on her cat (who had just gotten spayed the day before). I stayed over there until about 10 A.M. and then I left to head to Celina for a dress fitting for my cousin's wedding (which isn't until December, by the way...but oh well). The actually measuring and such didn't take very long, but there were other people ahead of us, so we waited about 20 minutes before they got to us. The dresses that we will be wearing look really pretty and I'm glad that I don't have to worry about having one of those nightmare-ish bridesmaids' dresses that people talk about!

The dress: it's a faux 2-piece and the top has halter straps that are made from sheer material. The dress is going to be "cranberry," but I actually liked the brown color of the dress that they had me try on...but hey, it's not my wedding. The style of the dress does a great job of concealing the parts that you don't want to be shown and accentuating the good parts (mostly the bust, but whatever ;p). I still don't know what shoes I'll wear with it, and I've already been told that I can wear whatever I feel like (they don't have a shoe dress code or anything), but I'll probably try to find something that matches and is cute but comfortable. Hopefully there is such a thing! :)